Stopping at two – a pledge to my children


I recently had my second contraceptive implant fitted (three years on from the first) which will now take me to the ripe old age of 41 without having any more offspring. This made me think of a blog I wrote in December 2009 which I’ve recycled for you below the picture of my two angels Natasha & Alexander.


My mother had five children and my father had five children. I am the only child, from their marriage 39 years ago. They separated when I was very very small and my mother remarried having four more children. My father had several relationships also having a further four children. I have 5 half sisters – Samantha, Susan, Lorraine, Marie and Keelie. I have 3 half brothers – Thomas, Richard and Craig. We all share one parent in common!

I have two very beautiful much wanted and very planned for children but unlike my prolific parents, I will not be giving birth to any more babies (unless my contraceptive implant fails!) I may foster or adopt one day but will not be pregnant again. This makes me a little sad especially as I grew up thinking I too wanted a large family, but there are three very good reasons why I have made this decision not to have any more kids (a decision I share with my husband I hasten to add).

1. There are too many people in the world – see my previous blog post on the Optimum Population Trust’s Stop At Two Pledge

2. I now feel a bit sorry for the two children I have, having to deal with the effects of a soaring world population and the predicted catastrophic results of increased greenhouse gases – so maybe it’s best not to inflict such an ordeal on any more human beings from my loins!

3. I grew up with 4 younger siblings and not much attention from my mother (who was single for part of my childhood). I don’t think my mother intentionally ignored me, she just seemed to be either pregnant or looking after a small (noisy!) baby for most of my childhood. I love all my siblings but I don’t think most of us were planned and really thought through. My own mother recently said as much as she loves all her children, if she did it again she would only have two children, and advised me to do the same.

In my family now, there are two parents and two children so there’s always a knee to sit on or a cuddle to be had. Put even one more child in the equation and I’m not sure how we’d share ourselves and I’d be heartbroken to watch either one of my two ‘pushed out’. If you are a parent reading this, you will understand how there never seems to be enough hours in the day, especially if you also work like I do.

Can I just add – if you do have more than two children, this is not a personal gripe against you in any way, shape or form. We all make our own decisions in life and this is just mine. I would love to hear your comments. Please post below.

4 Replies to “Stopping at two – a pledge to my children”

  1. I already had a son with my ex when I met my wife, and she also had two children from a previous marriage. We decided that we already had enough kids between us, so I opted for a vasectomy. We have no regrets at all about not having any more children, and although it would have been nice to have had one between us, I fully took my step-children on as my own. I completely agree with what you have put above, and I only wish more people were as concientious.

  2. I am stopping at 0. My genetics are not important enough to pass on. I will be gleeful at encouraging the children of ppl I love dearly.

  3. Well said Sharon, I empathize entirely with your views. My family last had multi children in the 1800’s when the situation was rather different; for not only was the world not over-populated at that time, but if you had children, then you had to be able to provide for them yourself. There were no state handouts from other peoples’ income tax; and though some employers/land owners helped the children of their employees, most at all levels of society took the choice not to marry unless they could afford a family!

    I had one son when I was married and after a divorce, decided not to marry again, as I knew that it would be difficult enough to afford to bring up one child, and for me to be landed with two would benefit no-one.

    Your last paragraph shows that you are more charitable than I am to those who have children like toys and rely on other folk’s income tax to bring them up!

  4. We are also stopping at two. For all the same reasons you’ve listed, plus financial reasons. Children are EXPENSIVE! For us, deciding how many children we could afford was a major factor in how many we would have.

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